Step 9: The Future

I read that lobotomies were at there peak in the 1940s and 50s and that got me thinking about how everyone always says how the 40's and 50's where the "good old days". So what that means is all we have to do to Step Up!® the "good old day" is bring back lobotomies! But were the good old days really that good? I'm sure if you asked a 70-year-old black person if he or she liked growing up in 1940s America he or she would probably laugh at you until you cried from sheer embarrassment. Or was there ever really a time that could be considered the good old days? Fuck if I know! Or is the “good old days” just a state of mind? Fuck if I care! I'm a 21-year-old whippier snapper who's worried about the problems of the future! And the future is now and now is where I is, so we need to deal with some stuff and I'm not talking about the war on terror or our slow economy or even the fact that the only two people we have to pick between as the leader of the united states are a rich duschbag fundamentalist moron who thinks we should bring back the hanger as the only form of birth control a woman can legally obtain and a rich duschbag who can't shut the fuck up about taking out some 16 year old Vietcong. No! What I'm talk about is the stuff that matters! This step I'm going to talk about how all the cool stuff we were promised for the future really hasn't happened yet and how with the help of Step Up!® we can fix this.

I love the cartoon the Jetsons, when ever I think about the future and the stuff that should be in it I think of the Jetsons. I live in Seattle, well not in Seattle but right by it and every time I go down town thanks to the "Spaceneedle" (awesome name for a building!) I'm reminded of all the cool concepts from the 1950's and 60's that never happened! Sure we have high-speed Internet and cell phones and super video game systems but none of that stuff comes close to flying cars and sassy robot maids. The closest thing we have to a sassy robot maids is that dumb robot vacuum and the only sassy thing it can do is bump into your ankle. People are already "developing emotional attachments" to their robot vacuums and they don't even talk! Maybe they can make sassy robot maids but they did some tests and found out we wouldn't be able to handle them. But I don't think I should be made to clean up my own messes just because some people are lonely and will end up losing their jobs because they will spend all there time at home humping their sassy robot maids! Step Up!® sassy robot maid makers! As for flying cars (hold on while I put on my conspiracy helmet) it's all the fault of big oil and...wait no that's cars that run on anything other then fossil fuel, which is also something that should have already happened, but no! It's just starting to happen!! We should have flying cars that fold into suitcases and while flying those cars we should be talking about how silly it was that we ever had cars with wheels that ran on dinosaur jizz. Step Up!® people and tell big oil you don't want their dinosaur jizz! We don't really even have Monorails, the monorail here in Seattle is from the 1962 worlds fair and it caught fire and is now out of order. But it's not like that's going to put any one out of their way because the thing only runs on a one-mile long track! So maybe all this time what I thought was the good old days was really the future and now is just, new...damn it! Well I guess I'll just have to be happy with my high-speed Internet and digital cable and hope that one day I to can hump my sassy robot maid in the back of my flying suitcases car under the shadow of one of the platinum monorail support beams...a man can dream Stepped Up!® dreams.

Next up
Step 10: I bet there were more hunting accidents before the color orange was invented step.